A Lonely Happening On A Saturday Night

Driving through Kentucky back roads you always think you're lost. I knew I had to be real close when my brain started hurting for booze or cigarettes or anything else I really don't like to talk about but I do it anyway so I can think clearer or not think at all. When we pull up to the house we park on the street because the driveway isn't paved and in a real charming sort of way it scared the shit outta me, and it wasn't worth messing my car up and I could have used a hat for my ears but carrying my big brown paper bag I figured at least the beer won't be warm. My good friend Wally tried to start a conversation about the stars and now I wished I would have sat down Indian style with him and talked instead of offering him a beer.
About half way down the gravel driveway I tell him id like to go camping and not get drunk and talk about the stars and girls but speaking of girls I saw this big breasted chick from my freshman year trying to catch my eye. She embraces me and I'm just thinking about all the times I should have gotten with her and especially the time she screamed to the whole room I'M TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU right before I put a blanket over her on the couch when she looked too cold to be sleeping. And the next thing I know she's in some guys truck driving away and I'm in the house talking to a few guys using bigger words than I should if I don't want to get my ass whooped by the end of the night. I started to get real bored real fast and excused myself like a kid at thanksgiving dinner. As I try to lightly float through the party I am thoroughly convinced my feet are screaming BOOM BAP BOOM BAP and I try not to make eye contact but sometimes you can't avoid it.
The next thing I know I'm talking up this far gone girl a couple years younger than me that I haven't stopped thinking about for a few weeks now so I don't mind the conversation a bit. She sits me down and tells me to wait for her to make another drink and each sip she takes makes me feel 10 sips uglier ( maybe 20 after the fact) and I've reached the point where I know I'll end up kissing her and it's not like I didn't want to or haven't thought about it. And the next thing I know she told me that she can taste cigarettes on me but she doesn't mind and she is moving her waist and rubbing against me and I forget how good it feels every time and shes a wide kisser but I'll blame it on her watermelon vodka which didn't taste too hot either. I want to touch her chest but it keeps bothering me that I cant remember her middle name cause at that point I was convinced that somewhere it says in the chivalric code a knight cant make it to second base unless he can state thy ladies middle name.
Eventually shes too drunk and I'm too far in love with her to keep kissing so I go and save Wally from a fight and he drives me home and talks about the stars and about girls and I wish we were camping cause my head is already hurting now that the bonfire is out of view.